Popular Nigerian Marriage therapist, Shamseddin Giwa has advised Nigerian couples trying to relocate abroad to think again before embarking on such journeys.
He revealed this on a Facebook post, narrating his personal story , a story he titled “The Relocation Story You Don’t Get Told” and how it went for him and his wife during the struggling process, here is what he said:
The relocation story you don’t get told.
This was us several years back as a young couple looking for a better life abroad. The dream was good, the intentions were good and we had enough to start. We just didn’t have enough information on how challenging it would get.
We started life in a single room within a shared flat where we even got told when we could use the washing machine or turn on the heater (even in winter).
The jobs were demeaning and always tiring but the poor exchange rate of my home currency gave a false sense of deception that one was earning good but the reality was different. Even with both our incomes, it was difficult to live averagely. Note: we were way better than others here!
At least we were together but extreme work rota meant we barely got to spend time together, and marriage was strained. Now imagine many had their spouses back home and their marriages went through worse.
Always at the mercy of the home office that was always changing immigration policies, one never truly felt settled. In the end, we returned back home and quietly started over, together.
Decades on, everything we sought abroad got handed to us back home! Alhamdulillah.
Now imagine many still stuck, illegally living, unable to work for standard rates, unable to even rent a place in their name, unable to open an account, unable to have peace of mind and always apprehensive of law enforcement, unable to grow yet unable to return home!
What’s the point? Relocating will test you and your marriage in different ways. Please be sure before you copy anyone and sell all you have to move. However, if you find yourself stuck, have a good exit plan even if it means coming back home to start over.
Many people and marriages are breaking due to pressure unplanned. Don’t go this route, do your findings well, your home depends on it.
Shamseddin Giwa is known for his counseling and marriage talks for couples and intending couples.
