Popular comedian and talk show host, Teju Oyelakin, better known as Teju Babyface, has cautioned men against confessing to their wives or partners if they cheat, arguing that such admissions do more harm than good.
In a YouTube video posted on Monday, Teju described confessing infidelity, especially by men, as one of the “most catastrophic and damaging” mistakes in marriage.
“If you cheat on your wife or your husband, but especially your wife — especially men — if you cheat on your wife, don’t tell her. Don’t confess. Do not ever do it. It is one of the most catastrophic and damaging things you can ever do in your life,” he said.
The comedian explained that confession in Christianity is meant to be directed to God, not one’s partner, noting that many people misinterpret the principle.
“People will even quote the Bible to support the idea of confession. They will say that if we confess and repent, then our sins are forgiven. Excuse me, that is to God and from God, not to man. It is confession to God, not to man. Do not do it,” he stated.
Teju argued that most people who confess after cheating are not being sincere but rather seeking to relieve themselves of guilt while inflicting pain on their spouse.
“You are not being honest; you are being manipulative. What you’re really doing is shedding the weight of your guilt, not helping your spouse. You’re looking for someone else to carry the burden of your wrongdoing,” he said.
He admitted that he once cheated in a serious relationship before marriage and confessed, a decision he now regrets. According to him, the confession was more about sabotaging the relationship than honesty.
“I can see clearly now that I confessed because I wanted out of the relationship. If I cheated and then confessed, and she left by herself, I could justify it to myself. That was not honesty — that was cowardice,” he added.
Teju stressed that confessions rarely heal relationships, often deepening wounds and eroding trust permanently. He cited the example of a friend who confessed 15 years ago but still faces resentment from his wife.
He maintained that true repentance lies in behavioural change, not confessions that “destroy homes.”
“If you feel bad about cheating, stop cheating. If you still feel guilty, confess to God or a counsellor, not your wife. Don’t ever put that weight on her. That’s not honesty; that’s cruelty,” he said.He concluded by distinguishing between one-time mistakes and habitual cheating, urging men to learn from their errors rather than cause irreparable damage through confession.
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