This is a perplexing tongue tying challenge…
I say today your father’s decision to abandon you had nothing to do with who you are. It is common for you as a child to feel guilty. But it is not your fault.
Every other day aside from Father’s day should be an opportunity for teaching and sharing intimacy. Turn questions to your friends, relatives or whichever position the person might hold to you; what does this day mean to you?
How does this make you feel? It is then that you “validate” the persons emotions. By so doing; validating to me means “empathising with the person’s feelings and confirming that they have a right to feel that way”. After validating, you can help to label them. Do you feel sad? Hurt? Confused? ( providing words to describe the problem) can help transform an amorphous, scary and uncomfortable feeling into something definable-something that has boundaries and is a normal part of life.
Do not try to talk the people out of their feeling
-let’s encourage them to care for younger siblings, a pet e.t.c.
Bonding, attachment can be difficult; practice may be required.
To mother’s; Let find some positive aspects about the Fathers to present the child. For example mother might list some of the Father’s good qualities -like how he’s funny, good at math or talented at sports e.t.c in this way child can know some positive aspects of their biological father to feel connected to.
To you that feel neglected, remember that one day your son will follow your example rather than your advice.
There will be always, people who have the courage to love what is untamed inside us. One of those men is father- Be a good father.
#Omosalami
#Ladunspices2018
